dandelionofthanatos:

damaskrosechicago:

churakaagii:

scarlettohairdye:

infinite-magical-recipes:

shredsandpatches:

junkybowels:

plaidadder:

argonauticae:

argonauticae:

im putting together a couple of scottish folk mixes bc that’s what i do and im honestly curious if anyone in my country has ever been unequivocally happy about anything ever

scottish trad music genres:

• Everyone I Love Is Dead
• The English Have Stolen All My Sheep
• You Want To Be My Boyfriend? First You Must Answer These Riddles Three
• The Protestants Have Stolen All My Sheep
• I Love You A Lot But You’ve Left Me And It’s Raining [fiddle solo]
• The Sea Is Treacherous, Just Like The English
• One Time Bonnie Prince Charlie Punched Me In The Face And It Was Awesome
• The Fairies Have Stolen All My Sheep

We have of course the traditional Irish music genres to go with them:

* Everyone I Love Is An Allegorical Representation of Ireland

* The English Stole My Farm And Put Sheep On It

* You Were My Boyfriend But Now You Won’t Even Come To The Window To Look Upon Me And Our Dead Infant Child (In The Rain)

* Whack Fol Too La Roo Umptytiddly Good They’ve Stopped Listening Now Let’s Talk About Revolution

* Something In Irish, I Think It’s About Fairies, Or Maybe A Cow

oooo can I add to this? don’t forget Appalachian folk balladry, the American cousin of Scottish and Irish traditional music and just as uplifting as its Anglo-Saxon highland forbears!!!

genres include:

• I Left Everyone I Love Back Home In The Holler To Be With This Guy Who Doesn’t Wear Shoes Or Have Teeth But He Plays A Mean Jug

• The English Told Us Not To Move West Yet, We Ignored Them, My Entire Family Was Killed

• You Were My Boyfriend But You Tied A Sack Of Rocks To My Petticoats And Threw Me In The Creek (And My Baby Too)

• Mama Loves All 14 Of Us A Lot But She’s Weary Of Our Shit And Now She’s Dyin’ (Gather Round)

• The McCleans Stole A Firewood Log From Our Pile So We Won’t Rest Until The Last Of Their Male Kin Is Laid In The Cold Ground

• We Knew The River Would Rise But We Still Didn’t Fix The Levee 

• The River Rose, The Levee Broke, Everyone Died, It Was Just As We Reckoned (dulcimer twang-a-lang) 

• When The Rebels Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Southern Man And I Feed Their Horses My Best, When The Yankees Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Northern Man And I Feed Their Horses What The Rebels Left

• The Tennessee Valley Authority Killed All My Sheep Somehow

Don’t forget that old standby “The Mine Collapsed and Everyone Died”!

I think someone needs to put in a word for the English folk tradition though:

• I Met a Girl and We Went Hunting (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
• I Met a Girl and We Caught Some Birds (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
• I Met a Girl and We Found Her Lost Pet (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
• I Met a Girl By Staying At Her Parents’ House and She Made My Bed (It Was an Especially Thinly-Veiled Metaphor for Sex)
• I Am a Girl and I Regret Engaging In Metaphors for Sex Because Now I’m Pregnant
• I Met a Girl and Bribed Her Into Sex But She Stole My Horse and Ran Away With It
• I Met a Girl At an Inn and We Had Non-Metaphorical Sex But She Stole My Stuff The Next Morning and Now I Have Syphilis
• Your Fiance Died Either at Trafalgar or Waterloo, Let’s Get Married, I’m Glad You Said No Because I’m Really Him In Disguise
• Lord Nelson Sure Was Awesome
• The Press-Gang Dragged Off All the Important Men in My Life (And Now They Are Dead)
• Farm Laborers Are The Salt of the Earth And Are Never Grindingly Poor
• Begging Is a Completely Viable Career Option With Flexible Hours and Unlimited Access to Alcohol

behold mongolian folk music genres

• I Went Out Riding and Noticed Mongolia
• We Fought a Bunch of Guys (On Horseback)
• Witness My Many Ungulates
• (While On a Horse) I Met a Hot Girl Who Reminded Me of a Plant
• On Three, Say What That Terrain Feature Looks Like to You (One, Two, Three, A Horse)
• Witness My Many Ancestors’ Many Ungulates
• I Also Enjoy Heavy Metal, Especially If It’s Made of Horseshoes
• Oooorrrrweeeeuuurrrreeeeuuuuwwwwwrrrrrrrr (Is Tuvan for “Horse”)
• You Might Not Know This About Me, But I Own a Horse

THE MONGOLIAN FOLK SONGS MADE IT BETTER.

now with more okinawan!

• We Must Plant the Crops, Let’s Get Drunk! 

• We Must Harvest the Crops, Let’s Get Drunk!

• There’s No Crops Right Now, Let’s Get Drunk!

• Sex On the Beach Is Awesome, War Is Bad
• There Are Ghosts in the Trees
• The Japanese Exploit Us (And the Americans Do Too)
• I Love the Sea, This Island Is Beautiful, War Is Still Bad
• Hey, There’s an Old Man, Let’s Get Drunk!
• Respect Your Parents Or You Will Be Lost at Sea Forever

As the daughter of a folksinger and spouse of a folklorist, I love this SO MUCH.  Here’s some from the sub-sub-genre of French folk songs of the Midwest…

• I Am A Brawny-Armed Lumberjack Who Loves a Town Girl, Oh No!
• Oh Fuck, I Slept With a Fur Trapper, What Shall I Tell Maman?
• Hauling Logs, Rolling Logs, Driving Logs, All Day, What Ho!
• Like Hell You’re Marrying That Good for Nothing Bambocheur!
• Fetch My Gold Ring That Fell Into the Sea!  Now!
• I Met A Sailor While A-Strolling, And Now We Are In Love!
• I Want to Kiss the Sailor I Met A-Strolling, But I’m Afraid My Father Will Find Out!
• Oh Fuck, I Kissed the Sailor I Met A-Strolling And Now We Are Doomed!

French Canadian (both Québécois and Acadian) folk ballads have the above genres as well, and also:

*We May Gave Gotten Bombed And Hijacked The Devil’s Watercraft To Go Home For The Holidays YOLO

*Where The Fuck Are The British Demanding We Fuck Off To THIS Time (Tabarnak They Keep On Doing That Shit)

*We Were Told That If We Did The Thing We Would Get The Shit Haunted Out Of Us But YOLO (Shit We Shoulda Listened To That Old Native Guy Though)

*WE’RE VOYAGEURS FUCK YEEEAAAHHHHH (Furious Canoe Action!!!!)

(I was informed of these genres by a dear friend from New Brunswick; I wish I could describe things as hilariously as he can)