there are no perks involved in being gender nonconforming – Kirkwall Was Totally Built On a Hellmouth

Things I Hate About Anxiety:

When I am feeling good and happy about and admiring about some part of my chosen appearance–like my hair after a fresh haircut, or how well a buttoning shirt (from the men’s department) fits, or how good a shirt/tie combination looks–I hate how the voice of Anxiety will creep in with “you’ll never get a job dressed that way; you’ll never get a call back from an interview if you go dressed like that–as yourself, the way you’re comfortable–everyone knows that, you know that.”

And…it’s not exactly *un*true. Articles pop up all the time about the impact of makeup and perceived femininity on hiring. Most recently, Cheeto Voldemort’s desire for his female staffers to “dress like women” also reflected this (though I am thankful that that spawned backlash).

I cannot function normally in a dress. In a dress, I have to have a different persona–I have to be a character. I could probably pull off Distant Aristocrat, but I’ve only ever *actually* performed–as an actress–Somewhat Campy Ingenue. Otherwise you just get Person Who Feels Like They Are Doing Really Bad Drag And Would Prefer Not To if you put me in a dress. Skirts I can manage by pretending they are kilts. I do not think that would work if I had to wear one on a daily basis; in that case, I would be sorely tempted to buy the cheapest kilt I could find, wear it, and see if any one noticed.

In short, I want to be Me, and anxiety is a douchecanoe about that when it comes to the job market (which tends to hate me quite well enough sight-unseen, on paper, let alone in person).

kula:

i think women definitely ought to get pats on the back for not wearing makeup, so long as it does not come at anyone else’s expense. if women can cultivate an avenue for themselves where makeup is celebrated, then i do not see a reason why a celebration of the decision not to is derided. while misogyny affects all women regardless of their appearance or attractiveness, and women will be scrutinized regardless of how they look, the decision or desire not to conform in some way to social notions of femininity is the more scrutinized option among women (and butch/stud lesbians can tell you all about it). research shows that women who do not wear makeup in a way that highlights cues of femininity are more likely to be seen as less mentally competent, they are less likely to obtain employment, they may be less likely to receive callbacks for job interviews, and they are less likely to receive the same wages as women who are deemed conventionally attractive, among other things. even the mainstream feminist movement in the united states largely saw gender nonconformity among women as untrustworthy, repulsive, and threatening. the sentiment still exists today, and it ought to be interrogated. women who do not embody or exude femininity deserve to feel as human as anyone else, and yes, i do think they need a back pat or two so they feel their embodiment is not the pathology that it is so often portrayed as by our society at large. 🙂