My anxiety gave me a big ol’ middle finger twice today.
Luckily I already have everything prepared for tomorrow so I can just basically do nothing this evening.
Other than go to a resume work shop. I do not have high expectations for that, since I’ve had issues with my uni’s resume department before.
So.
Fun tiems 😐
I’m about as awkward at Second Chance Prom as a 29 year old as I was at senior prom as an 18 year old. But I am more comfortable. Because this time I’m wearing pants, shirt, tie, and suspenders instead of a dress and heels.
Tonight’s music isn’t really my speed/scene/style.
I did get in my cardio for the week doing the Cupid Shuffle, though.
May go to a Second Chance Prom at my uni tonight.
Things that are nice: weekends
Things that are not nice: spending Friday evening feeling like you have the approximate energy level of a partially frozen slug
That awkward feeling when observing a class where you may or may not have heard a student say “it’s a she” and they may or may not have meant you.
On the upside, I know I look awesome. Sweater vest season has arrived.
Starting using continuous glucose monitoring today! Which has the potential to be super awesome.
But right now there are growing pains which mostly consist of my pump alarming/screaming at me and me wanting to Hulk Smash things because yeah.
I have acquired a job interview. Yes good.
Please hire me and pay me.
Things that are awesome:
Getting complemented on my outfit (striped slacks, vest, button down shirt, and tie) by two teenagers of indeterminate age who were at the HP thing at my local library. As a gender nonconforming future teacher planning to teach teens, this felt really positive.
Things that are not awesome:
Forgetting that sometimes “don’t read the comments” should be applied to more than just news related writing.
Read a blog post about why dfab/afab people who are not trans men might want top surgery and things to consider when considering that as an option written by a woman who had gone through that process, with the inclusion of post-surgery reactions of others to her decision.
This is an idea I relate to. And many of the commenters did as well.
But there were also the comment(s) along the lines of “cutting off healthy breasts makes you a bad feminist”, “you did this for horrible reasons”, and “you were only uncomfortable with your breasts because of gender norms/expectations/stereotypes/etc, only the abolishment of gender, not surgery, will fix this problem and this article made me sad.”
So what if someone’s issues with wanting their breasts reduced or gone does have something to do with the negative impact of Western gender bullshit? If all the gender bullshit was abolished tomorrow, that wouldn’t change anything for people who have spent their whole lives dealing with it. It wouldn’t do jack shit to make them feel better. And treating people who feel this way as if they are wrong and to be pitied also changes nothing for the better and only makes things worse for them.
I think it pinged my anxiety, because I got that “ohshit” chest-tightening fight-or-flight chest pain. It didn’t last as long as it would have before I got on my current medication, but the reaction was still there. Now mostly I’m just sad and minorly pissed off, but better for having gotten the feeling off my chest. Which is a bit bitterly pun-y way to put it given the topic.
At Harry Potter thing at library. Overheard very tall teenager discussing the KotOR/SWTOR era Emperor. Initially mistook it for a Doctor Who conversation until the mention of the Great Hyperspace War.
Also amused that my phone already knows “hyperspace.”
Things that are a wee bit awkward: Explaining to your endo that any 4-7am recorded blood sugar readings are bedtime rather than breakfast because wow do I screw up my sleep schedule in the summer when left to my own devices with no job and no classes and no days where I have to go somewhere in the early morning.
Kirkwall Was Totally Built On a Hellmouth 