Yes, anxiety, now’s a great time to have the…at this point it’s probably more than bi-annual (because of course it is 😐 ) “what are you going to do with your life?” session that involves many side aspects such as wanting to leave the area so that I can have a fresh start somewhere where I’m not balancing trying to be me with dealing with the expectations of Way Too Many People Who Know My Family; minorly despairing over how many times the people in the college of ed repeat that “education is a conservative field” when I’d like nothing better than to wear a tie as often as I felt like wearing a shirt a tie could be worn with; needing a job that will either give me insurance or enough $$ for me to cover in on my own, because diabetes without insurance is not something I can do, and I don’t trust any governor of any state I might end up in to necessarily have been a decent human being who expanded Medicaid to people who are over 18 and who don’t have kids (because my shithead of a hypocritical moralist governor naturally didn’t expand it in AL).
In other news, really glad that I’m seeing a psychiatrist next week to talk meds and see what might work better for me. I’d like that “one brief shining moment” of wonderfulness that I briefly had when starting escitalopram back.