depression sucks – Kirkwall Was Totally Built On a Hellmouth

That feel when you are depressed but also pissed off and you just put the Johnny Cash version of “Hurt” on repeat until your brain calms the fuck down.

Things I Want Right Now:

1. To scoot out from under this bad case Return to Depression Mountain I have had for…a while now.

2. To avoid panic attacks or Hulk Smash/Hulk Want to Cry incidents at work.

3. To find out what my MMPI-2 results seem to indicate besides the depression, anxiety, and panic disorder I already know about.

Hey, anxiety/depression/whatever-fresh-new-hell-brainfuckery-is-going-on….

Could you, like, chill out for a bit? I’m trying to adult today.

Have great desire to do more “out there” things to my hair.

Also would like a job in the near future.

In this town, those are often mutually exclusive.

This displeases me.

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

disease-danger-darkness-silence:

nurselofwyr:

deenoverdami:

The thing I hate most about depression is that it tricks you into thinking you don’t have depression. It makes you think that nothing is wrong with you, that you just feel this way because you lack value as a person. Whether that’s in your relationships, your academics, or a view of yourself, it makes you think you aren’t good enough for any of that.

“It’s not the illness,” it says, “You feel this way because it’s who you are.”

“Mental illness is like fighting a war where the enemy’s strategy is to convince you that the war isn’t actually happening.”

Me: I can’t get out of bed today, what is wrong with me. I’m so lazy and terrible and I am a huge flake and there has got to be something wrong with me.

My brain: There is no war in Ba Sing Se.

Honestly, learning to figure out when my depression is trying to trick me into believing that life is simply hopeless so that I can identify those emotions as irrational is one of the biggest breakthroughs I’ve ever made.