aromantic awareness – Kirkwall Was Totally Built On a Hellmouth

aro-ace-skeleton-warrior:

Ok this post is probably going to be a mess of thoughts, but whatever. I have seen some things in the aaw tags saying that we don’t need asexuality or aromantic awareness weeks. People are saying that it shouldn’t be so important to us that everyone knows about asexuality and aromanticism (why is that word so awkward?). I don’t think you’re understanding the point of asexual and aromantic awareness. The point is not to educate allosexual alloromantic people about these things. That’s something we do, yes, but that’s not the reason. The point of asexual and aromantic awareness is to educate people who might be on the asexual are aromantic spectrum, but don’t know it. Because most of us on the spectrum have been there. Most of us remember feeling broken, trying out different sexual orientation labels to try and find one that fits. Wondering if everyone just pretends to be romantically or sexually attracted to people all the time. Or, for allosexual aromantic people, feeling like a heartless slut, because that’s what the world tells you that you are. The primary goal of asexual and aromantic awareness is to spread these words and definitions and stories around so that these people who are in the shoes we were once in can maybe see it and realize that they aren’t broken or heartless.

So. I know it’s been on my “About” page for…a while now, so it’s not like it’s something that anyone who follows me doesn’t already know…but I just felt like now was a a right to for me to put it in writing in a slightly more openly-talked-about way, since I’ve spent the last year or so (I’m 28 and a grad student and I still measure time mostly in semesters, and time these days mostly falls into the “…I did what when?” category and is…foggy if it wasn’t a few months or weeks ago) adjusting to it and getting comfortable identifying this way to myself. And I just wanted to say it somewhere, and for me, tumblr’s really the easiest place.

I’m asexual. I’m aromantic.

Yes, I love fictional relationships that involve sex and romance and various combinations thereof. Liking those things does not negate my aro-ace-ness. I just do not have any desire or interest in either one for myself.

So, there we go. Officially out on tumblr. Offline, my mom kind of knows. I basically used the definition instead of the actual word, but it went pretty well. She was already okay with the idea of me not having biological children (or kids in general), thankfully, and she was also okay with the idea of me never getting married when I said I really had no desire or interest. This was a big deal for me, because I’m an only child and the end of the line on my dad’s side of the family. It is good to know that she’s cool with the idea of me being a single foster/adoptive mom, if I do later decide I want kids in my life (and I’d probably go for older kids, if I do that).

There are other people offline I’d like to tell eventually, but I don’t feel up to it now, because if it turned out they don’t believe asexuality is a “real” sexual orientation, I’d be devastated. Like, I have no evidence to suggest they’d be anything but accepting and open-armed about it, but the small chance they might not be coupled with the fact that I see them on a regular to fairly regular basis keeps me from it right now.

But anyway. I plan to be doing some reblogging of things for Assexual Awareness Week (and I’ll be throwing some Aromantic stuff in, too, because that “A” doesn’t get enough awareness either) from October 26th (tomorrow) through November 1st. And then starting November first, I’ll be doing some diabetes blogging/reblogging for American Diabetes Month. So my blog’s going to be more post-y than it usually is.