Tag: accurate

me describing sexual attraction in fiction: (beautifully constructed flowing sentences, intense gazes, racing heartbeats, dry mouths)
me trying to understand sexual attraction in real life: (looking around desperately for answers with a confused face while i wiggle my hands up an down)

Cinnamon Rolls of Star Wars the Force Awakens

Looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll: Poe Dameron
Looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you: Rey
Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll: Finn
Looks like they could kill you and can actually kill you: Kylo Ren
Probably Smuggled some Cinnamon Rolls at Some Point: Han Solo

https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/62601173/stream?client_id=N2eHz8D7GtXSl6fTtcGHdSJiS74xqOUI?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio

lesgles:

They Are Never Ever (Ever) Gonna Get Together – A Tumblr (Slash) Shipping Song

So there was this graphic. And then morethanprinceofcats rewrote all of the lyrics. Dedicated to those ships. You know the ones.

Do you know that show with two guys?
(The white ones)
Seem written straight to me but who am I
To judge
In fanon they are always shacking up
Though I think those two are brothers 
(What?)

It’s not that I can’t see the base appeal
It’s two cis and able dudes with abs of steel
Or like, one is really smart but guys, get real
You say, “it’s subtext! Almost text!”
It’s really queer-baiting. 

Oooooh
Canon says that they’re good friends
But ooooooh
Tumblr?
I’m telling you, I’m telling you

They
Are never, ever, ever
Gonna get together
They (hey!)
Are never, ever, ever
Gonna get together
You can ship with your friends
Start a new trend
Write a fic!
But they (hey!)
Are never, ever, ever, ever
Gonna get together

Like, ever.

One episode I heard they had a fight
So you blogged about it staying up all night,
Or their differences were finally put aside
And I couldn’t scroll the tag for two minutes. I TRIED.

Oooooh
Character development’s cool
But ooooh
Tumblr?
I’m telling you, I’m telling you

They
Are never, ever, ever
Gonna get together
They (hey!)
Are never, ever, ever
Gonna get together
You can ship with your friends
Start a new trend
Write a fic!
But they (hey!)
Are never, ever, ever, ever
Gonna get together

I used to think my OTP was perfect, super
And I used to say, “Death of the author…”

“Ugh, so I checked out the tag for that new show that just came out,
And it’s like… I mean you’d think there were only two characters, ANOTHER show about two dudes with a SUPER IMPORTANT FRIENDSHIP… and it’s like, they
Are NEVER gonna get together. Like. EVER.” 

No!

They
Are never, ever, ever
Gonna get together
They (hey!)
Are never, ever, ever
Gonna get together
You can ship with your friends
Start a new trend
Write a fic!
But they (hey!)
Are never, ever, ever, ever
Gonna get together


Downloadable at the source! I threw it together in an hour but I thought it deserved some vocals.