Why do some people make the decision to have REALLY LOUD CONVERSATIONS in public restrooms where anyone could (and in this case, cannot escape from) overhear every word they say?
I had to crank my music up to almost highest volume to block them out @_@
Thank goodness for necklace chewies, because I don’t have any hand fidgets with me.
So. Here’s something completely different, because I’ve decided “fuck it, I’ve seen lots of you lovely and/or handsome folks on here, here’s me.” Re-dyed my hair tonight and landed with sea green and blue (the blue mainly got re-blued, as that has lasted like…two months at least). Also, I am wearing a Star Wars hoodie over a Captain America hoodie, because what passes for winter has started to arrive in Alabama (aka “time for layers in the house” to save for if you really need to crank the heat up later on; and you never can tell with Alabama weather).
Anyway. Behold the illusive kirkwallhellmouth in the natural habitat of the computer room/craft-hoard cave. Also slash sort of library and media center with a floor that is basically craft-supply-hoard, so that if my parents need anything out of there from deeper than the entryway, I have to perform a small expedition.
Please stop diagnosing yourself with autism just because you FEEL weird or random or quirky.
Autism is not a quirk or gender you can just assign to yourself. Autism is a very real and serious mental condition that can cause a lot of struggle and pain for people who truly have it.
Just pretending you have it with no real evidence does two things:
1.) It can give lots of people a wrong view of what autism looks like
2.) It can take resources away from people who are actually officially diagnosed with it and need the support for it more than you do.
So stop it because it’s incredibly destructive and incredibly insulting to people who actually have it.
What resources, specifically? I’ve never had any “resources”, so I’m not sure what’s been taken away from me by all these people. If anything, I’d think this would be a great case for curb-cutter effect.
That said, I think you’re talking about two different things. Self-diagnosis is not “pretending you have it with no real evidence”.
Back before she got clinically diganosed, one of my friends began thinking she might be autistic. She found a lot of things stressful that other people didn’t find stressful. So she talked to her doctor. And she got a referral to a “specialist”. Who asked her why she thought she was autistic, talked over her when she tried to answer, and informed her that since there’s no cure, there’s no point in seeking a diagnosis as an adult.
So, after that, she wasn’t even able to bring herself to call people. But she made a list, and I called a couple of other therapists, and explained the situation, and I got a therapist who said basically “I am pretty sure I know who your friend saw, and she’s not the only one with that story”, so I referred her there, and now she’s got a clinical diagnosis.
I’m hilariously-obviously autistic. The first psychologist I brought the topic up with dismissed it out of hand. Not even a hint of questioning about rationale, just “no, you’re not autistic”. He was, it turns out, completely wrong, because he know roughly jack shit about autism. In my case, I didn’t really think about it again until I was a couple of chapters into Elizabeth Moon’s The Speed of Dark and found myself trying to remember what was supposedly weird about the viewpoint character, because he made total sense to me. So I found an actual specialist and by the time I’d rewritten the intake questionaire so I had space to write answers and also could fix the typos, my interview wasn’t about determining whether or not I was autistic, but figuring out more about the specifics.
But in each case, we spent some amount of time (several years, in my case) having been specifically told by a person with a degree that we weren’t autistic, even though we were.
Which is to say, if we were to adopt your model, we would have been denied whatever “resources” were in theory available, even though we were actually autistic and needed them.
And of course, people going around saying we’re not autistic because we don’t meet their expectations can also give people a “wrong view” of what autism looks like.
Possible alternative theory: What if you stopped gatekeeping? I do not require your gatekeeping services. I would rather everyone try out accommodations and coping strategies which appeal to them, and use them if they work.
autism diagnosis is not a bowl of candy. it is not getting used up by people having one. the autism diagnosis bowl will not be empty before you get yours, op. calm the fuck down.
Autism diagnosis for working class kids is shit. [4]
And even if you can get a professional diagnosis, as an adult, getting one can do more harm than good.
It can open you open to medical abuses [5] and discrimination, particularly in custody cases if you have kids [6].
The only “help” or “resources” it affords you as an adult is usually as a legal defence if your boss tries to fire you for it [7]. And in most places, that still requires that you have enough money for the lawyer [8].
So, it’s incredibly difficult to get a diagnosis for most people, and getting one is usually of little use to adults at best and outright damaging at worst.
Time and time again, autistic adults say “the only thing the diagnosis got me was a community” and for some of them, it also cost them.
Gatekeeping actively hurts people who otherwise wouldn’t get the diagnosis – for perfectly legitimate reasons like maybe they’re divorced and don’t want their shitty ex to have the ammo to spitefully take away their kids – by forcing them to get one just to access the community.
The “I don’t wanna get diagnosed because then people with discriminate” excuse is probably the worst…
People don’t like what they don’t understand. If I’m acting weird and having meltdowns and my friends don’t know what the heck is up with me then they are more likely to ditch me. But if I have a clear cut explanation of what I have and why and have done the research on it then people are actually more likely NOT to discriminate. So you kind of have it backwards.
And who the hell told you that you can’t keep your kids if you have autism? My mother has bipolar Manic, depression, dyslexia, and ADHD and had 4 kids just fine. If people can get away with abusing their kids openly and post it to YouTube without having a custody battle, then I’m pretty sure you won’t lose your kids just for getting a diagnosis…
And as for resources, you’re forgetting job openings and financial benefits tailored specifically for people who suffer from autism, which can inhibit some (not all) from being able to keep a steady job, like me. That’s not an infinite resource because you only have so much money you can just give away.
You have a pretty ignorant view on getting a diagnosis and actually doing research on what you have.
No, I don’t have it backwards, because YOU DON’T NEED A DIAGNOSIS TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOUR FRIENDS.
That’s what self-diagnosing is literally for. I mean, I explained this on another reblog.
I Linked A. Article About Autistic Women Being Unable To Keep Their Children.
This is a very common concern for autistic adults. Like, good for your mother, but her experience is singular and doesn’t speak for every disabled person out there.
This is a problem that has been talked about time and time again. It is one of the cornerstones of disability advocacy. But, you know, I suppose if your personal experience counters that, we should all pack up and go home?
No, I’m not forgetting job benefits and financial benefits. They… aren’t available to self-diagnosed people? Like, you literally can’t get them? And no one is suggesting that you should be able to?
My point is that not everyone has access TO those resources. In fact, the majority of autistic people (with paper diagnoses like mine) can’t access them. You’re right, they’re not an infinite resource. In fact, they are so limited that you’re really taking a gamble as to whether or not you get them when you go for a diagnosis, and given that an adult diagnosis can take years if you don’t already have a large chunk of cash to pay for it privately… Well, what the fuck are you supposed to do in that position? If you need the financial resources, but know that it can take years before you’re even diagnosed?
Which brings me to my first point, which you have conveniently ignored and which I provided links to research to back up, the fact that minority groups are frequently cut off from getting a diagnosis?
What are they supposed to do about their friends abandoning them when they have meltdowns? Suck it up?
And I’m sorry that last part is fucking laughable. I’M ignorant and haven’t done my research?
I Provided You With Links To Said Research!
Links I have taken from my master’s research on this topic!
You came back with “well, in my experience”. Like, good for you. I am also autistic, and my experience doesn’t line up with yours.
And I’m Not The One Using My Experience To Be A Dick To Other Autistic People.
If you’re going to gatekeep, come back with stronger arguments. Otherwise, I’m going to keep reminding everyone that
Self-diagnosed People Are Welcome In The Community!
In addition, we use the term Autistic Community to refer inclusively to people who have been identified by professionals as being on the autism spectrum and to those who are self-identified. We recognize that there are many reasons why a person may fall into one group or the other, and we respect the right of individuals in our community to make their own choices in this regard. Many Autistics were given a diagnostic label in childhood or sought a formal diagnosis in adulthood to obtain services and accommodations. Others have not done so for reasons that include financial barriers, lack of qualified professionals in a locality, obtaining sufficient accommodations on an informal basis, or the political view that our community should not have professionals as its gatekeepers. ASAN believes that all of us can and should work together in solidarity to accomplish our common goals.
Being anti-self dx is like standing on a rooftop and waving a flag that says “I’m ignorant and privileged”
Ding dong op is wrong
Yikes, OP. Like… the federal government literally admitted that they’d been unfairly discriminating against disabled parents. That isn’t a secret.
Like, where I live, my “resources” as a person diagnosed as being on the Autism spectrum shortly before turning 32 are pretty much limited to hoping the state Rehabilitation Services can help me figure out a job (and how to get it, because on paper I look like I have my shit completely together, just because I was Damn Good At Being a Student For a Really, Really Long Time) that doesn’t give me so much overload or so many panic attacks that I would rather be dead. And I don’t qualify government assistance in my state, because I’m not 1) severely mentally or physically disabled, 2) elderly, or 3) pregnant or a mother. I’m lucky that I have super supportive parents and grandparents, or I’d probably be homeless. Or actually dead, since I also have type 1 diabetes and that Ain’t Cheap.
Info getting session with therapist went nicely. She had a much warmer and compassionate vibe than the therapist who did my intake interview at the other place I briefly saw a psychiatrist. That first woman was cold and kinda mean, or at least too blunt. I explained how I thought processed about my anxiety and she said, very dismissively, “You’re intellectualising.” I didn’t exactly know what that was at the time, but my brain went “Well what the fuck am I supposed to do?” Ugh.
But yeah. This was much better. And they didn’t make me pee in a cup.
Something/someone in this waiting room smells REALLY strongly of fabric softener.
I love the original version of this song, but this “reimagined remix” version is even more emotional and I had to share. Because it’s a “life and people suck and fuck you up—but you’re still here, and you are amazing just the way you are, no matter what anyone (or your own brain) tries to tell you, so keep going” song. And everyone can use one of those.
From the Wikipedia page for The Crimes of Grindelwald movie.
Thoughts:
If you grew up hearing (well-meaning) things like “you can do anything you put your mind to”/”follow your dreams”/”follow your bliss”/”find a job you love and it won’t ever feel like work”–those things are a lot like The American Dream ™. For some people, that works out. But for various reasons, it doesn’t work for others.
Sometimes you figure out that the career you spent years thinking you wanted has some stuff you can’t deal with. Sometimes you find out a job you thought you could be happy in turns into your mental health’s worst nightmare. And sometimes a job you think you can stick with because it has good insurance super changes things up on you and your mental health runs screaming out of the building.
If manage a dream job that works for you that you love and supports your needs, awesome. If that doesn’t work for you, find something that–even if you can’t love it–at least doesn’t make you want to be dead and also hopefully is enough to support your needs (fuck the US economy, health care system, and capitalism, tho, seriously). And that hopefully leaves you with some time to do things you do love, things that make you happy.
Kirkwall Was Totally Built On a Hellmouth 