me describing sexual attraction in fiction: (beautifully constructed flowing sentences, intense gazes, racing heartbeats, dry mouths)
me trying to understand sexual attraction in real life: (looking around desperately for answers with a confused face while i wiggle my hands up an down)

Last night I dreamed that I was basically the Oscar François de Jarjayes of a really strange space station.

Mainly I got a new uniform, spent a lot of time fearing someone would try to make wear a dress, and (as usual in my dreams) could not throw worth a nickel when I attempted to throw things at miscreants.

I also manage to cement my power on the station by somehow making a legally and culturally binding agreement with a toddler who was basically the heir to a crime syndicate run by the dream’s version of the Ferengi