Author: kirkwallhellmouth

I have discovered that it really makes me feel weird when people talk about their children when their children are super assigned-gender conforming.

Especially when they’re like, “My daughter is just so into pink and frills and dresses, and my son is just all into monster trucks. Like, I want to be all advanced and gender neutral, but that’s just what happens!”

But the implication they leave hanging in the air isn’t “But that’s just how my kids are.” They imply that that’s just how all kids are. That pink and frills for girls and rough-n-tumble and action figures and cars for boys are just innate differences.

It makes me feel really awkward, because I was always a pretty massive tomboy and my reaction as a child to gendered advertising was to run so far in the opposite direction of things labeled “girl” that I only learned to stop hating pink in my 20s. My mid-20s. And I have also had to realize and work through a good deal of internalized misogyny that was pretty firmly aimed at more feminine than me women because of that. Because that isn’t the kind of woman I am. I can’t manage that level of feminine presentation. I skew fairly masculine and feel most on top of the world in a suit and tie. And I’ve reached a point where I’m comfortable with that. Most of the time. Until things happen that shake my confidence even just slightly when it comes to how I dress and how I carry myself and what I like.

It doesn’t feel good.

comfemgem:

Being a shitty person is not an inherent symptom of any mental illness. A person who  is incapable of empathy can learn to respect others, just as much as a neurotypical person can decide not to. Don’t refer to bad people as “psychos” or “sociopaths”.

On the subject of what the Inquisitor and the companions might wear to a fancy Orlesian ball, because it’s popped up…

I really hope they just polish the Inquisitor’s armor until it shines like the sun and they wear that.

Why?

Because as disappointing as it might be not to see the Inquisitor in fancy clothes, it removes the disappointment that would inevitably occur over whatever else the female Inquisitor would wear otherwise. Because it occurred with f!Hawke in MotA.

Personally, I was overjoyed when I my f!Hawke showed up in a doublet and trousers. 1) It worked for her as a character and 2) for me it was so great to be able to play a character who wasn’t forced to wear a dress (or other coded-female clothing item) because I myself am a cis woman who is not comfortable in dresses. I wish Bioware had put a little more work into not making f!Hawke’s outfit look like she stole it from m!Hawke’s closet, but I was still so, so glad she wore it. It meant a lot to me.

Not everyone felt the same way, of course. Some people’s f!Hawke’s were women who would have worn a dress to the party if the game had given that option. And someone made a mod that would allow those f!Hawke’s to do that. Which was great.

Except for the part where they also said, “You cannot go to an elegant party wearing trousers!”

Women go to elegant parties in trousers all the time. It takes less than five seconds with Google to know that. Not every woman is comfortable wearing dresses and no one should judge them for that. If you are woman who likes wearing dresses, rock that dress! If you are a woman who feels more comfortable in a suit, rock that suit! You do you and let other women do them, because it’s not always easy for any woman to feel good about how she dresses or likes to dress.

sassrelay:

I feel like it’s very important to realize that while it may seem funny to laugh at the gamer bro’s tears at not being able to romance Sera, we need to realize that they are literally throwing fits that they’re “left” with either Cassandra, Vivienne and Scribe Girl as bi or het romance options and they know absolutely nothing about 2 out of 3 of these women beyond the fact that they are dark skinned WoC and it’s actually really disgusting & racist as fuck

zooborns:

Zoo Miami Staff Step In To Raise A Vulnerable Baby Monkey

On Friday, May 30th, Zoo Miami welcomed the birth of a male White-faced Saki monkey. This is the first birth of this species of Tropical American monkey for Zoo Miami. Found in the rainforest trees of Brazil, Guyana, and Venezuela, these fruit eating monkeys rarely come to the ground and are considered vulnerable due to habitat destruction and hunting for food and the pet trade. Unfortunately, the first-time mother rejected the offspring so it is now being hand raised by zoo staff.

Learn more at Zooborns.